It’s a good thing they elected a pontiff today, or else that darn seagull perched on the Vatican chimney would have been the star of the show.
A new phenomenon has appeared in the Twitter coverage of the papal conclave: #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithPope. Some of my favourites:
- Alien versus Pope
- Any Given Pope
- Apopecalypse Now (I guess that one’s for the prophecies of St. Malachy)
- Bonfire of the Popes
- Cardinals of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pope
- Cardinal Strangelove, or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Pope
- Despicable Pope
- Dude, Where’s My Pope?
- Full Metal Pope
- How to Train Your Pope
- Inglorious Popes
- Iron Pope
- Jurassic Pope
- Kinky Popes
- Night of the Living Pope
- Pope II: Electric Bugaloo
- The Pope Always Rings Twice
- A Pope Called Wanda
- Pope Fiction
- Pope Floats
- Pope Interrupted
- A Pope To Remember
- The Pope Wears Prada
- The Pope Who Loved Me
- The Pope With the Golden Nun
- The Return of the Pope
- The Skeleton Pope
A lighthearted look at the day’s finest conclave reporting, replete with pop-culture references and riffs on the intersection between historic traditions and the modern world.
The Guardian put together a simple web-based program to select who you would most like to see made pope, based on a pre-selected list of criteria like age, pre-papal career, views on contraception, and handling of child abuse scandals. It doesn’t necessarily cover everything a conclave-watcher might care about, like sexism or freedom of conscience or attitudes toward the Latin Mass . . . but it’s a good start.
For the record, the Pontifficator says the pope who would suit me best is Cardinal Luis Tagle of the Philippines.
White smoke means habemus papem. Black smoke means the cardinals will need to vote again. And pink smoke? Means that the Church needs to let go of its centuries-old misogyny and give women a voice in the lived experience of Catholic religion.
Check out Benedictine nun Joan Chittister on CBC’s The Current this morning, talking about the Church’s need to modernize. Or take a look at this documentary about women’s participation in the Church, Pink Smoke Over the Vatican. Or keep an eye out for a possible protest in Rome during conclave, in which advoctes for women’s ordination intend to let off a burst of pink smoke
“During his papacy, Pope Benedict XVI used his power to take significant steps backwards for women. The current old boys club has left our church reeling from scandal, abuse, sexism, and oppression. The newly elected pope will have a profound opportunity to offer healing to our broken Church,” says Erin Saiz Hanna, spokesperson and executive director of the Women’s Ordination Conference, which calls itself “a voice for women in the Catholic Church”.
I remember being a Catholic woman. Believe me, they could use a voice.
You guys, the optics on this are not great.
Actually, no. They’re fantastic. They’re hilarious. You guys are great.
It turns out that some cardinals are staying in a Roman apartment block that also houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna, Europa Multiclub. Needless to say, this is probably the worst way to dispel rumours of a gay Vatican cabal.
A poll released by the New York Times and CBS News has a few interesting things to say about how ordinary Catholics are thinking. And while there are certainly caveats to apply about statistical sampling and suchlike, the idea that the Church hierarchy is increasingly at odds with the beliefs of the faithful is alive and well.
Mundabor – a blogger who believes strongly in Catholicism Without Compromise (TM) – is angry at SNAP (the Survivors’ Network for those Abused by Priests). Really, really angry.
They haven’t really done anything wrong: just participated in the conclave guessing game that’s all over the ‘Net right now, naming the papabili they would most like to see elected. (The “least worst” candidates, they called them.) Their favourites:
They’ve also listed their “Dirty Dozen” – the candidates they think would be worst for children in the Church. Mundabor notes with glee – and I’m afraid I have to concur – that all the most popeable cardinals are on SNAP’s naughty list. (Check out my news article on their choices at Friendly Atheist.)
Posted in Priests Behaving Badly, Sexual Abuse
Tagged Archbishop Diarmuid Martin, child abuse, Christoph Cardinal Schonborn, conclave, Luis Cardinal Tagle, Mundabor, papabili, papacy, priestly sexual abuse, SNAP
This is loads of fun. This is the most fun I’ve had since Betty Bowers’ Conclave Kiki video. You can adopt a papabile to pray for during the conclave!
Once you enter your name and e-mail address, the site – er, I mean, the Holy Spirit – will randomly choose the Cardinal that it (he? she?) wishes you to pray for. (To be fair, though I used the real Popeable Sock Puppet e-mail address, I hedged my bets and used my cat’s name instead of my own. You can’t be too safe on these crazy Interwebz.)
The Holy Spirit sure has a great sense of humour. Either that, or it/he/she/zhe has read my article on Friendly Atheist, where I said that if I still prayed, I’d probably pray for Gianfranco Ravasi – he seems the most open to freedom-of-conscience and separation of church and state, plus he really likes science.
And now he’s officially my own adopted cardinal.
If you decide to adopt a cardinal of your own, let me know who you get in the comments!